As Winter gives way to Spring in Sydney, there is a balminess in the evenings that evokes a sense of sweet nostalgia in me. There’s something about Springtime that always has me in my feelings, feeling nostalgic, yes, but also inspired, motivated and ready for a fresh start.
It’s as if a sense of rebirth is carried in the warm winds, and I’m always left feeling brand new. If only I had this same feeling at the start of the year, when I’m usually wary and worn out from the long Australian Summer and Sydney “party season”, with months of festivities and socialising.
Mornings and evenings are still crisp enough to need a jacket, but rarely require an umbrella.
I find myself waking up naturally with the sunlight at about 5.30am no longer needing my alarm because nature offers me an alternative (which feels just as annoying if I’m honest). The pterodactyl screeching of cockatoos and the cacking of kookaburras creates a relentless early morning chorus that crescendos into a climax then suddenly is gone, as the flock flies away in one swoop, off to annoy people on the other side of the bay. At another time of day I would probably appreciate this spectacle but hey, I’m a grumpy bitch before I’ve had my first cup of tea. I’m not feeling this crack-of-dawn slap-in-the-face wake-up call shit. As a kid I used to read about the delicate, melodic birdsong of the English countryside in British children’s books and imagine what such a mysterious, foreign concept would sound like. But as I’ve grown in this beautifully rugged country, I feel like I relate more to the raw, obnoxious sass of our native fauna. I would say I’m more of a brazen cockatoo, unapologetically declaring our voices be heard, than the sweet little robin who always looks and sounds so pretty.
Well, at least I’m waking up feeling refreshed as opposed to feeling like I’ve been hit by a bus, which is how I usually feel as I drag myself out of bed during the Winter.
I write this on my laptop, sitting on my yoga mat in my local park, the sun warming my back but also encouraging the freckles on my cheeks to come out of hiding. Shoots and buds are sprouting all around me, not yet in full bloom. A pair of seabirds are tirelessly squawking about two metres away. At first I think they are fighting but then realise they are mates, protecting two little chicks. The babies are fluffy and clumsy, and I feel a tug in my chest as I think about their vulnerability. The fragile beauty of nature is almost too much to bear sometimes.
The breeze is fragrant with aromas that are soothing and familiar, triggering a kaleidoscope of memories in me. The flashbacks are scattered, randomly pulled with no order, reason or rhyme from the timeline of my life. I write them down as they come to me, one by one: warm evenings spent sipping chilled wine in the company of friends on my balcony; late-night murmured conversations with a past lover; memories of an evening strolling by the large fountain in Hyde Park after work and stopping to notice the way the reflection of the city lights dazzled and danced in the falling water. I try to capture this random patchwork of sweet nostalgia in words, before the memories are blurred by the passing of time. I recall the same heady fragrance of jasmine seeping through my bedroom window years ago, as I was getting dressed to go to a concert. I remember the contentment in those moments of being alone in my own space as Sade’s husky vocals enveloped me in the warm night air as I grooved freely, setting the vibe for the night. I remember how free and weightless I felt to be newly single, and wondered if that was normal. Sweetest Taboo. Alone, yet not lonely.
Now, deliciously spiced smoke from a neighbour’s BBQ reminds me that this is the season of street festivals, outdoor dining and farmers’ markets. “There’s a lot to look forward to,” I think to myself and then almost laugh when I realise I haven’t felt this happy in a long time. Seasonal depression is real, fam. I don’t feel myself during the Winter. I used to hope that the cooler seasons would grow on me but what can I say, this little island girl just ain’t cut out for the cold. “Maybe next year I’ll try to embrace it” I muse, before chuckling silently at my attenpt at optimism, knowing full well I’ll spend the Winter complaining as I do every year. So for now, I will drink up the beauty of Spring until my tank is full and can take no more. And I’ll tap into this place of joy in my darkest moments, which will inevitably arrive one day because that’s how life goes. And while life is unpredictable and we can never truly prepare for any nasty surprises, I rest easy for now knowing my reserves are ready.
So I lay down on my mat and gaze up at the vast azure sky, spiky grass tickling my calves. Surreal 3D-looking clouds scatter themselves across the expanse of blue, fluffy and full. I feel like I could tear off pieces like candy floss. They float by their neighbours with a friendly smile, courteously avoiding clashes. Sometimes I wonder if anyone else has this habit of creating narratives in their head and assigning personalities to objects of nature lol. I guess I’ve always tried to hold on to that child-like imagination I once had. It occurs to me that I probably haven’t cloud-gazed since I was about 10. Why do we stop doing these things? Why do we feel silly tapping into that type of inner reflection/meditation as adults?
“Because there’s no time. Because we’re too busy,” I think wistfully.
Filtered afternoon light trickles through the leaves overhead, leaving shafts of golden light and shadow. I am mesmerised. I learnt the Japanese word for this exact phenomenon the other day:
木漏れ日
Komorebi
I wonder why we don’t have an English word as equally poetic?
THIS SEASON I’M LOOKING FORWARD TO:
Visiting the Royal Botanic Gardens. This is definitely my happy place. With the majestic Sydney Harbour as a backdrop and iconic Sydney landmarks such as the Opera House and the Sydney Harbour Bridge a quick stroll away, I could happily spend the whole day sitting under a tree in these gardens. I like to catch a ferry to Circular Quay then walk through the gardens from one end to the other. The Spring Walk is in full bloom right now and is just stunning. See iphone pics below.
It doesn’t feel hot enough for the beach yet, so Springtime is all about markets, cafes, gardens, coastal walks, galleries, music festivals and outdoor eating for me.
Two other gardens that are worth checking out are the Aurburn Botanic Garden and the Chinese Garden of Frienship in Darling Harbour.
All photos taken on iphone XR
ON MY READING LIST:
I’ve just started Identity by Francis Fukuyama, a book about Contemporary Identity Politics and the Struggle for Recognition.
I’M LISTENING TO:
Warm Winds – SZA feat Isaiah Rasha
“When I call your phone on a late night
I recall your soul had a taste like
Gardens, flowers, Warm Winds”
You can find my vibey September Feels playlist on Apple Music, just search nikkimualita. This is what I’ve been listening to for my new season reset. It’s a mix of wavy vibes, chilled beats, the artitsts I’m digging and basically the music that keeps me feeling inspired, particularly while I’m working.
I’ll add the same playlist to Spotify when I get some time.
Anyone else on Apple Music keen to share tunes and playlists? Drop me your username and let’s share! Mine is nikkimualita.
Because Spring always has me all up in me feelings and feeling a little extra, I tend to crave romance and longing in the things I listen to. You know the kind of music that makes you ache with longing for someone, whether it’s a past lover, your present bae, or the mysterious potential of a future somebody?
Which leads me to talk about Spoken Word Poetry. There are two poets I can’t get enough of right now.
The Many Faces of Her by Malanda J Poetry is a masterpiece, in my opinion. His flow and rhythm set against soulful vocals and instrumentals is hypnotic. The track Thoughtful Intercourse Ft Sylis Montez is the sexiest thing I have every heard, for real. And A Blues for Niah is so achingly beautiful, it leaves me with chills.
I’m all about supporting creatives and their art, so I purchased my copy at bandcamp.com but I think you can find some of his stuff on Soundcloud for free.
I also love Reyna Biddy’s audio album, I love My Love which you can find on Apple Music
I find it hard to imagine what I did before I discovered podcasts. They turn mundane, boring tasks like cleaning and driving in traffic into an opportunity to soak up wisdom, entertainment, knowledge, stay on top of trending topics or whatever it is you’re into.
Some of my favourites are:
Now if you love positive affirmations as much as I do, you gotta check out Tracy G’s audio vision boards
and her podcast,
GETTING INSPIRED BY:
The digital space I have found the most motivation this season has been Prince Ea’s youtube channel. Like most people, I’ve seen his stuff shared on facebook for years, but I’ve been paying special attention to the sibjects he chooses to explore lately. Since becoming a student of Philosphy, Anthropolgy and Critical Thinking as part of my Psychology degreem his content really hits home for me and gets me thinking about the bigger picture and the what’s really important in life. His words are woven together so beautifully and I also really dig the way he can reach people, across all demographics because his message is always about humanity as a whole, from a global perspective. In a world that feels so extremely divided 99% of the time, I find it comforting to take in words that are inclusive and remind me that despite our obvious differences, at the end of the day, we are ALL of the human race with the same basic human needs and share the same universal feelings of love, care, empathy, anger, protection etc.
MY GOALS THIS SEASON:
I really need to finish the design and articles for this blog! I’ve been carefully curating ideas, writing articles and building out content for over two years and I’m am itching to finally press publish and officially launch this blog!
So if you are reading this, it means I actually got over the procrastinating, perfectionism and self-doubt and actually DID IT!
I’m also committed to making time to meditate every morning and night.
As the year ends and work and study start amping up, I’m trying to make time to nurture the important relationships and friendships in my life. This is not easy, with such a busy schedule combined with everyone else’s busy schedules! But it’s important to me and I’m trying to get better at making time for the people I care about.
And this brings my first official blog post to a close. Thank you so much for being here. Right now I’m going to lay back on this mat and enjoy the simple things. Peace!
Namaste.
